weddings are not the time for a sense of humor

I went to a wedding this past weekend. I made a card for them. Now, don't laugh, but I spent TWO AND A HALF HOURS on this card, start to finish. (OK, yeah, I made the envelope, too.)
That's fine. Here's where it went wrong: I tried to do something legitimately nice. I tried to draw a portrait of the happy couple.

They came out looking like vampires. "Now that's eternal love!" I wrote at the bottom, simultaneously apologizing and excusing myself from polite society.

I'm just not allowed out anymore.